A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below.
He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am."
The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."
"You must be in Information Technology," said the balloonist.
"I am," replied the woman, "how did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is probably technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information and the fact is, I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip."
The woman below responded, "You must be in Management."
"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Friday, April 15, 2011
Thursday, April 14, 2011
A letter from God
A letter From God!
By Mary Mumbi Maina
One day God was looking down
Down at Earth
And alas! he saw the evil
Evil on earth
That day he sent an angel
An angel down to Earth
The female angel went for sometime
For sometime down to earth
And when she came back
Back from earth
She told God,
"Yes it is bad on Earth,
95% is bad and 5% is good.
It is that bad on earth
Well, God thought
For a moment about the earth
And He said
"I will send another one to earth
And this time a male angel;
Will be sent back to earth
So I can get both points of view.
Of how bad it is on earth
So God called a male angel
And sent him for some time to Earth
When the male angel returned
Really disappointed about the earth
He went to God and told him
"Yes it’s a decline down there on earth
95% was bad and 5% was good."
Disappointed at the people on earth
God felt He had to do some Good
So He sent a letter to the 5% on earth
That were good and encourage them a little
To be strong when here on earth
Something to help them keep going.
Do you know what on earth
The letter that was written by God said?
To encourage the 5% on earth
Oh! You didn't get one either?
By Mary Mumbi Maina
One day God was looking down
Down at Earth
And alas! he saw the evil
Evil on earth
That day he sent an angel
An angel down to Earth
The female angel went for sometime
For sometime down to earth
And when she came back
Back from earth
She told God,
"Yes it is bad on Earth,
95% is bad and 5% is good.
It is that bad on earth
Well, God thought
For a moment about the earth
And He said
"I will send another one to earth
And this time a male angel;
Will be sent back to earth
So I can get both points of view.
Of how bad it is on earth
So God called a male angel
And sent him for some time to Earth
When the male angel returned
Really disappointed about the earth
He went to God and told him
"Yes it’s a decline down there on earth
95% was bad and 5% was good."
Disappointed at the people on earth
God felt He had to do some Good
So He sent a letter to the 5% on earth
That were good and encourage them a little
To be strong when here on earth
Something to help them keep going.
Do you know what on earth
The letter that was written by God said?
To encourage the 5% on earth
Oh! You didn't get one either?
THE KENYAN `LAW’ MEETS THE LORDS’
Corruption at its best...gotta love this
On Tom Mboya Street, Nairobi ,Kenya A Pastor met a team of policemen who, quite naturally wanted '"Kitu Kidogo" (that is the household name for a bribe) from him, but since he wasn't prepared to play their games, they asked him to pull off and show his driving papers. Having gone through them, they had nothing to hold against the pastor, they asked him to open the bonnet of his car. A careful scrutiny of the engine number against that on paper revealed that letter U was written in such a way that it could be mistaken for letter V …. . The officer-in-charge yelled "stolen vehicle!!” The Pastor sensing trouble, even when he knew he had committed no offence, yelled back; "Am a pastor not a thief" The officer replied: "Please, leave that pastor thing...in any case, if you are indeed a pastor, then you must have a Bible in your car, bring it." The Pastor speedily brought out his Bible to proof his sanity.
"Please read Matthew 5:25-26 to me." Incredulously, Pastor opened to the recommended passage and read: "Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to a judge, and the judge may hand you over to th e officer, and you may be thrown into prison. I tell you the truth; you will not get out until you have paid the last penny" The perplexed man of God "QUIETLY" made an "offering" of "some shillings to his newly found "preacher". The Officer collected his "kitu kidogo" and said to the pastor,
"End of service, go in peace and argue no more".
You can't beat such a cop at his game!
On Tom Mboya Street, Nairobi ,Kenya A Pastor met a team of policemen who, quite naturally wanted '"Kitu Kidogo" (that is the household name for a bribe) from him, but since he wasn't prepared to play their games, they asked him to pull off and show his driving papers. Having gone through them, they had nothing to hold against the pastor, they asked him to open the bonnet of his car. A careful scrutiny of the engine number against that on paper revealed that letter U was written in such a way that it could be mistaken for letter V …. . The officer-in-charge yelled "stolen vehicle!!” The Pastor sensing trouble, even when he knew he had committed no offence, yelled back; "Am a pastor not a thief" The officer replied: "Please, leave that pastor thing...in any case, if you are indeed a pastor, then you must have a Bible in your car, bring it." The Pastor speedily brought out his Bible to proof his sanity.
"Please read Matthew 5:25-26 to me." Incredulously, Pastor opened to the recommended passage and read: "Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to a judge, and the judge may hand you over to th e officer, and you may be thrown into prison. I tell you the truth; you will not get out until you have paid the last penny" The perplexed man of God "QUIETLY" made an "offering" of "some shillings to his newly found "preacher". The Officer collected his "kitu kidogo" and said to the pastor,
"End of service, go in peace and argue no more".
You can't beat such a cop at his game!
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